Sunday, November 27, 2005

....and just like that, it's winter!

While dear bf has been entertaining temps in the single digits, we've had unseasonably sunny weather, with afternoons in the mid-70's and nighttimes sinking to the upper 40's.

Well, all that's about to end. There's a stiff breeze out of the WNW today; walking the dogs was easy on the way out, and a lot more work getting back to the car! It's only 47 right now, and usually we're well on the way to the 60's by now. Brrrrrrrr! (I know, i know, most of you will have very little sympathy for my chilly toes. But hey, us AZ folk have way thinner blood!)

At this precise moment i'm holding a warm mug of apple mint tea (thanks, Chris!) and contemplating the irony of the fact that i'm FINALLY going back to the sweatlodge to host, on the coldest day of the autumn so far.

For those of you who read the post waaaaay long ago about the local sweatlodge, you may remember that all who come on the property are checked against a master list of names. If their name isn't on the list, they need to sign a waiver and provide emergency contact information. The host's job is to check names, help newbies fill out the paperwork, and socialize freely.

I used to host frequently--this is B.C., Before Chris, so don't go blaming him for anything--and then during the summer really dropped out. Part of it was just the simple fact of thinking about going into a sweatlodge when it's around 100 degrees outside--counterintuitive to say the least!

But part of it was also a general disenchantment with the "sweat community" as a whole, stemming partially from an incident last spring where a woman and her carpenter bf offered a whole backyard full of lumber scraps and bulky mesquite logs for free, for the taking. They even offered to fill a trailer they had and deliver a load if "the community" would come lend a hand. The day and time of the pick-up was disseminated widely for at least a week prior, and on the chosen morning exactly 2 people showed up--me and one other woman. It pissed me off so much that i just stopped going to the sweat altogether.

People annoy the hell out of me, most of the time, so i guess it's no surprise i live with dogs rather than housemates. Ha.

Well, at least after i'm done hosting, the sweat will feel Really Good. Getting undressed to go inside will be the hard part!

Happy Sunday, y'all!

Friday, November 25, 2005

being thankful

Here's a startling new website that might give you a different attitude about where you fit in the global scale of "richness".

Check it out!

I'm the 731,021,993 richest person on earth!

Discover how rich you are! >>

Meanwhile I am extremely thankful for many many things that i often take for granted:

good health.
a job i love.
shelter, food, clothing.
a healthy son with whom i am developing an ever-healthier relationship.
no wars in my country.
no gang members next door (no wars in my immediate neighborhood).
i can see, hear, taste, talk, feel, walk, and (very occasionally) run.
i have animal companions who love me.
i have a mate--yeah, he's 1860 miles away, but he's worth the travel time!

AND i have a couple of friends who invited me to their annual Thanksgiving fete for the first time (the man half of the equation greeted me, not unkindly, with the words, "Oh, good! Another stray!" Do i need to add that they are most definitely "dog people"?)

It was a very fun gathering; they are at least as hermitic as i am, most of the time, so for them to have a sit-down dinner for 20 is really something. I came home--rolled home is more apt--and collapsed in front of my idiot box to watch the first season disc of a highly-recommended HBO series, "6 Feet Under", and loved it. So, good food, good friends, good entertainment all in one night.

Many wishes to all of you for blessing large and small, hidden and seen, obvious and subtle.

Monday, November 21, 2005

monday morning

For some inexplicable reason, my mood shifted overnight (even after some really weird dreams about car/phone malfunctions, being lost in a strange city, and needing to call Chris and being unable to....analysis, anyone?).

Got the car's oil changed this morning, and got done in time to come home and walk the dogs. I've been looking for--and therefore finding--potsherds again, feeling the connection renew between myself and those ancestors, finding their leftovers and feeling blessed to do so.

The desert broom is in bloom....picture a shrubby evergreen, broomish looking branches. Each branch tip slowly whitens and then opens, releasing jillions of white floaty seedlings (think dandelion, only a little smaller and many many more of them per bud). There are scads of buds opening per plant. There are so many of these little seed floaters that they gather in lowlying areas and bank like snow. So i'm walking along in a tank top, looking at snow-like drifts along the river bank....and longing for my lover to arrive.

That may take awhile; if you're keeping up with his blog you'll know he's in the midst of a custody battle, and taking the high road all the way. That certainly takes precedence over getting down here (wah) and even though i don't like it much, i'm trying--trying--to keep my big nose out of it.

So i'm going to exercise and get ready for work, have a great week y'all and thanks for the moral support!


Sunday, November 20, 2005

no excuses for the blueses

So much to be thankful for, i can't figure out why i've got the blues today. I went to a Thanksgiving potluck (this year, i think i'm celebrating most of the WEEK instead of just on Thursday!) where we all sat outside in the sparkling sunshine and 70-degree weather, sharing good food and good conversation etc.

I came home with a turkey carcass (to make soup with), fully intending to go to Reid Park for a concert--and suddenly i was unable to leave home a second time. People were expecting me at the festival, darn it, and i've become such a hermit that i can't even leave home when i sort of want to. I could blame it on gas costs and on being poorer than a churchmouse currently, but the truth is i love my home and my dogs, and dislike going out more than once a day.

I don't know if this is something serious or just your garden-variety peri-menopause symptoms....whatever it is, it's time to shift it!

Could be just the denouement (anti-climax) following the seminar last week. I swear i was high afterwards--now, to figure out how to KEEP it!

Hope all preparations for holiday feasting are well underway, in whatever part of the world you happen to be. (Well, of course, other countries aren't celebrating Thanksgiving this week, so just amend that statement to one that fits for your locale.)

LYMI, ciao for now!

Monday, November 14, 2005

I done been gone!

I've just finished a 5-day Jin Shin Jyutsu seminar that was held right here in Tucson, Wednesday through Sunday from 8:30 to about 6:30 each day. Talk about an intense bit of learning! The dogs were bereft as they are used to having me around quite a bit more during the day.

How to explain JSJ in a short blip is beyond me, but it's a modality i am growing ever more impressed with. You can look at Magz' blog and recent comments to know a bit about how it helped her. It's a gentle art, working to harmonize the energy in the body, and is complicated and simple at the same time. I did call Ms. Magz and tell her a couple of things she could do to help her head and sense of smell, and got some good advice on flows to do next time i go see her. Self-help is an important component of JSJ--so it's possible to treat yourself as well as others.

I admit to feeling an emotional let down last night in the wake of such a large event. There were about 45 people there, and we did hands-on three times each day, so in addition to the brain overload there was also the effects of moving a lot of energy through our bodies. But it's all good, and the morning after i'm feeling new and strong and clearer than ever!

Now, i've had several requests for details of my trip to Minnesota, but this isn't a porn blog, so i'll refrain from sharing too many personal details--but i must say, Chris and i are EXTREMELY COMPATIBLE!!! And not just in the 'horizontal bop' department, but also in the 'snuggle' department, the 'spooning' department and the 'loving to kiss' department as well. A new romance that feels comfortable and familiar already. This Is How It Feels When It's Right, and we both know it.

We both have a lot of healing to do when it comes to relationships--he has a short unhappy list, and i have a very long unhappy list, but we both recognize that self-love and self-nurturing are key components of a happy and successful union. And i think we've both taken the long road to learning to hear our own voices. I think that's why both of us are loner types; we couldn't hear our own inner voices until we were by ourselves. Now that we are coupled we still recognize the need to be solitary from time to time, to take care of ourselves and thus return to the relationship renewed rather than resentful.

What else can i tell ya, it's sublime and i feel very blessed to have the gift of this love in my life. Plus it is frustrating as hell to be separated by such a distance, but we also both know that all is as it should be. Neither of us are river-pushers. When the time is right we'll be together again....even though both of us would be happy for it to be Now rather than Later!

ciao for now!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Da Chris-ster

Hey, too bad i'm blogging at night instead of in the morning, because IT'S MY BOYFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY today--all 4 1/2 hours left of it anyway!

I can't do that fancy put-the-link-right-in-your-post crap, but he's linked in my sidebar as Farmer In The City (as if you didn't know), so go wish that numero uno man in my life a happy solar return! I for one am super happy he got born!

Da Magzster

Here's how I know that Magz was *really* not feeling too great:

1) She was actually lying down,

2) She actually let me work on her (Jin Shin Jyutsu), and

3) She actually let me COOK for her!

Hope it's getting better and not worse, dear sis!

Saturday, November 05, 2005


It's Saturday and i've been back since Tuesday really late, but it's been a bit of a madhouse trying to re-enter life in the sunny southwest after actually enjoying (surprise!) the coolth of the chilly north! I tell you, those folks up there have fat blood--we were out strolling on Halloween, and there i was in a turtleneck, sweater, coat and a hat, while all around me were kids wearing nothing but t-shirts, acetate costumes, fairy wings, etc....and they were laughing while i was shivering!

So i'm back, the temps are in the 80's (naw, there's no such thing as global warming, George), Minneapolis hasn't had a hard freeze yet (unheard of by this date)--and Arizona Magz is laid up on account of one of "my" horses.

Here's the lowdown on that deal: i needed a place for my 2 mares about 2 years ago--maybe 3? Magz instantly offered her place, and i accepted, knowing they'd be well cared for (and certainly well amused) and maybe even trained!

We actually had big plans for marketing Leah--a Quarter Horse/Arabian cross, well-pedigreed on both sides--for big bucks to some sweet little pre-teen horse nut....and my plan was to share the buckage with Magz, and give her the other mare as well (Mona, the sweet-eyed Arabian mother of Leah) for her work and time....but somehow the training never got done. And i ran out of money--not that i was ever paying Magz, bless her good-hearted self, but for awhile there i was at least buying the feed.

That hasn't been the case for many many moons as far as i'm concerned, both of those mares belong to Magz, (fore)lock, stock, and barrel! Now Leah's gone and proved herself untrustworthy, so it's looking like she'll get sold for dog food. That sucks on many levels and i'm finding myself feeling mighty bad about the whole deal. It's been on my mind to talk to Magz about it for a few weeks now, but darn if i haven't been a bit....distracted? with my new love interest. But with Chris as my witness, i told him weeks ago that it was time to sign both horses over to Magz officially, and get out of the horse business myself, since it's patently obvious that it's not in my blood the same way it's in hers.

What to do--what to say--except "I'm real sorry sis!" and show up shuffle-footed with a bottle of St. Brendan's Irish Cream and whatever pain meds i can rustle up?