Friday, March 25, 2016

Light beckons

The full moon was gorgeous and i took the opportunity to join a group that makes a labyrinth every full moon. We met in the river bed near my home. One labyrinth was marked off with pieces of rope, and was laid out in a pretty traditional pattern. Walking through it one cannot tell how the pathway is going to get to the center. Wish i could describe it better!

The other one was laid out in LED lights and was in the shape of a spider! It felt much different energetically than the first one did. Since we met just before sundown, we walked the rope one first so we could see our way. Then on to the Glowing Spider pathway!

I carried a small dark rock into the center of the first labyrinth. Into it i directed all my knee pain and all my heart pain. I placed it at the center altar and gave thanks for leaving that burden behind.

The rock i found to bring home is about a foot wide and shaped like a heart! It was fun to carry that out and up with me as i walked back to my car in the dark.


Monday, March 21, 2016


I think i'm finally getting a glimmer here.

If Love is the doesn't matter what the question is!

I awoke this morning knowing i need to make a big change. I have been allowing the circumstances of my life to dictate my mood, and have been depressed for months. Thank goodness for Spring and bird song and sunshine (Tucson's best feature) to light the future direction.

I have *chosen* (aka "co-created") the circumstances of my life, to teach me that the circumstances of my life are secondary to the mental/emotional states i cultivate and radiate.

The trick is to use the tools i've acquired and honed over the years to actually shift my attitude into one of greater expansion, greater awareness, and greater clarity.

So this morning i found a 30-day meditation series on YouTube (such a great use of technology IMO) and was able to actually SIT and BREATHE for the full half hour. And i can still feel the groundedness it afforded me.

I am thankful for my health, my strength, my blessings too numerous to mention.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Vernal Equinox!

Happy spring....always a bittersweet day as this is also the day my mother died, in 1968. So she's forever tied to the Springing of Spring just as my dad is always tied to Christmas (he fell on Christmas Eve 2002, and died the evening of the 26th.)

Yesterday i said "No More" to a lover of a year, but an association of 8. His path is for himself only. And while i am mourning the loss of a beautiful fun activity we shared, i'm certain that it's for the best. If only it felt as good as i know it to be.

The larger question is always, why choose those who can't love/appreciate/reflect/return goodness?

So today is a tearful day in which i am giving thanks for love, in all its guises. One day i hope to learn a little tiny bit about love. Until then....i'll continue stumbling on.


Saturday, March 12, 2016


I am sick of politics and sick of Facebook and sick of the meandering of my own mind.

I am tired of poverty and tired of snarkiness and tired of assholes who just don't get it.

At the very same time, i recognize how truly blessed i am, to complain about attitudes and platitudes. I can take a hot shower in my very house! I live alone and have a giant yard buffering me from the midtown Tucson world! I have food in the fridge! I have a car that needs some work but otherwise is still carting me from place to place!

I am so much richer than so many. And yet i had to redeem all my quarters ($350 worth) just to pay rent this month. Not sure how to jumpstart my practice when i have so many doubts and complaints.

Thank you for my blessings. May i cultivate a grateful mind. May i cultivate a compassionate heart. May i release myself from this endless suffering.