Thursday, October 25, 2007

something silly

trying to lighten up.

"lively up yourself and don't be no drag"
thanks bob

You Are S'mores

Unusual and unconventional, you make your strange ways work for you.
You've got personality - no one's denying that!

Monday, October 22, 2007

prayers for Shankara

so my long-time buddy Shankara has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, even in his brain, and could go at any time in the next month or so. he is being moved to hospice either today or tomorrow.

this is happening in paonia, CO, not tucson, so i can't go see him. but there was a nice Circle at the sweat yesterday, and someone got him on the phone, and we were all singing "his" song:

"good where we've been, good where we're going to; good where we've been, good where we're going to"

over and over for him to hear. then she walked around the Circle and put the phone in front of everyone's mouth for us to say something. (i'm such a smart-ass; i said, loud and cheerful, "write when you get work!")

i wish i could post a pic of him here, but 1) i don't have any, and 2) i don't have a scanner.


sam is now confined to the house 24/7 for fighting. he is miserable. therefore, i'm miserable. his right eye can't blink anymore due to the last fight he was in, so i've drawn the line at the doorway. he just won't stop. i thought keeping him in at night would solve it, but saturday i let him out for a couple of hours and sure enough, i heard that little so-and-so fighting in the neighbor's yard about 20 minutes after i put him out. it took me another hour to get him back in the house. so, since he won't come when i call, he gets to stay inside. yuck.


that's about it. say some prayers for my friend, if you like. his comment to me last week when i called him up: "dying is like taking off a tight shoe."

Sunday, October 14, 2007

ahhh the return to the Sweat

i might as well admit that Tucson is my home. i think i've held out for about, oh, 20 years to make that statement. but being gone for 5 days, and even enjoying those 5 days away, did not prepare me for the delight and genuine relief i felt when i went to the Sweat today.

being naked outdoors is good for the soul.

oh, and the pool is so delightfully chilly around now, makes jumping in a real psychedelic head rush! the best things in life....aren't things. they are feelings. like going from 180 degrees inside the Sweat, to about 68 degrees in the pool. yum.

here is a picture of the ceiling above my bed. i got this fabulous idea from S, whose ceiling i decorated on my last day in Berzerkely. (of course, hers were more about "swift healing" and "strong shoulders".)

yes, i'm spending time most every day meditating on financial abundance and the wonderful way it will make me feel.

the anxiety i experience almost daily about finances is profound. i am trying to feel the relief i know i would have--if money were not an issue--instead of the anxiety. kinda like "fake it 'til you make it" i guess.

and here is a picture of my Sammer Man, being kittenish.

that's about it from me today. oh, guess i should include a cute Angus and Sun Bear shot as well. here you go, enjoy!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

california dreamin'

i'm in Berzerkely, and it's really gorgeous!

my friend S is mending very well (plus is more than entertaining with the addition of prescription pain-killers) and we've been having more fun each day.

i arrived wednesday around lunch and was met at the airport by S's assistant; i think i mentioned that S is a chiropractor? at any rate--i spent most of that day getting to know S's house and the med schedule and so forth. that night a friend came over and amused us thoroughly by singing, "R-A-G-G-M-O-P-P, raggmopp!" over and over while S did her PT exercises using (could you guess?) a dry mop for a prop.

thursday morning was spent doing more of the same--but in early afternoon S helped guide me (in her lux BMW) over the San Raphael Bridge to Sausalito, where we were treated to the spectacular view of an unexpected Blue Angels practice session. (i personally am not such a great fan, but S was in the Air Force and was stoked to see them.)

the weather has been exceptional--warm and sunny during the days, a little cold in the afternoons/evenings.

yesterday was the creme de la creme: we went to Muir Beach for a few hours and i was entranced almost to tears by the sight and feel of cold sand underfoot, cold water overfoot, and the special undersuck of waves pulling the foundation out from under my chilled tootsies.

the wind picked up after an hour or so and made sitting on the beach completely ridiculous so we ventured on to the Pelican Inn, had a beer and a snack, and then headed home....except, it was rush hour, so we got off the freeway as soon as possible after getting on, and made a side trip to Tiburon and enjoyed a late lunch at Sam's Cafe. we sat on the deck next to a pier, fought off the incredibly forward seagulls, and thoroughly enjoyed the sun and food.

after window-shopping, a dessert gelato stop, and a slow drive through the opulent town of Belvedere, we drove home in the gathering twilight along the water's edge and watched the lights of SF in the distance. truly a magical day!

my "duties" here have been pretty mild, but frequent--so travel alone, say to the Cozy Shack, would have been impossible to arrange. S is better and stronger each day, but needs help w/dressing, eating (or at least food prep and clean up), and staying on top of the medicine and PT schedule. and company.

i want to mention here that this entire trip has been financed by my friend. i am transforming my financial reality AS I TYPE (hehehe) but it has been a skinny summer, highlighted by my turning over several of my credit cards to a credit counseling agency, which is good for my financial future, but makes my financial present very tight as i can not use these cards any longer. therefore i am living on what i make for the 1st time in....a long time. and it's been very educational to see the degree to which i relied upon money that was never mine to begin with, and now is not-mine in the extreme! so i am learning to RECEIVE, as is my friend. in two very different areas we are learning that it is all right to RECEIVE. not only that, it is a real blessing to RECEIVE!

i'm going back to Tucson on Sunday. my home and pets have been cared for by a young woman i met through the Sweat and all is well there. my goal is to maintain the energy of RECEIVING that's been begun here, and to continue my practice of GIVING and of SERVICE.