Sunday, April 27, 2008

my wonderful son

truth: i do not know how i got so lucky.

B. came over yesterday morning, moved a pallet of miscellaneous boxes, hula-hoed the hell out of my fiercesome weed patch, trimmed the rowdy mesquite tree (with a board saw, no less), and helped me pitch everything into 2 giant rolling trash containers.

all i had to do was erect the screen house and drag the stock tank inside.

i still have to go through those miscellaneous boxes, and scrub the stock tank really well, but in a day or so my outdoor oasis will be complete! tucson is headed for the 90's next week, and i want to be ready. we've been there already a couple of times. luckily the nights are still cool enough to enjoy.

later on i got a phone call: Mom, my neck is killing me, i want a massage! so after i was home from work, he came back (no car these days, just a bike). i set up the table in the back yard and got out my St. John's Wort/Arnica salve (from Kuumba Made, now called Sprain and Strain Recovery) and worked his upper back, neck, and shoulders.

what a delight to use my craft on my son. he does not often ask for my help.

he brought a dvd about the architectural/political nightmare that the Freedom Tower (9/11 memorial) turned out to be, so we watched that and drank a beer together.

this sounds quite mundane in the retelling....but my social life is so non-existent that an evening in the company of my son is worth savoring and recording! plus, all i have to do is recall the relationship i had with my parents when i was 24 to realize how wonderful it is that we not only talk, but enjoy our time together, when it happens.

wishes for a wonderful day to all.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Insight from the Dalai Lama 4/26-27

"When we pray together, I feel something. I do not know whether you would call it blessings, or grace--but in any case there is a certain feeling that we can experience. If we utilize it properly, this feeling is very helpful for developing our inner strength."

life is good, my son is here to help erect the screen house/stock tank combination in my back yard, and i must leave to go buy a hula-hoe.

more later!

Monday, April 21, 2008

the sleeping cure

well--i worked saturday, had lunch w/my son after that, and went home and lay down on the bed "for a moment" and woke up 3 hours later!

since it was 7:00 by then, i had a couple of beers for dinner and then went back to bed.

whatever existential crap i was cycling through, has finished it's cycle and i am once again my bouncy, cheerful self. whew! i was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired!

beer and sleep--medicines of the 21st century!


Saturday, April 19, 2008

Insight from the Dalai Lama 4/19-20

"I am convinced that human nature is basically gentle, not aggressive. And every one of us has a responsibility to act as if all our thoughts, words, and deeds matter. For, really, they do. Our lives have both purpose and meaning."

i apologize for being such a lame blogger of late. i am cycling through some kind of existential angst and at times it hurts too much to breathe. my inner demons seem impossibly huge, and unusually close to the surface in recent weeks.

so, i am a little afraid to go out in public too much, as i am never sure how i will behave. my clients get the sweet and compassionate me--for everyone else it's just a crap shoot. (well, the animals are fine. it's conversation with other humans that tends to do me in.)

so, i am FINE, really. it's just peri-menopause. i am a HFMDMAW*! yeehaw!

and at times it is soooooo tempting to say, oh, if i had a New Man in my life, it would be so much better. well, i have to look that lie right in the face and say wait a minute Sis, that's just looking outside yourself for a solution or a scapegoat. it's an avoidance tactic. if i can't be happy All By Myself, then adding another person will only multiply my misery.

seen it happen too many times to doubt that truth.

so, i'm gritting my teeth and sticking to my lonely guns. thank goodness for animals!

*High-Functioning, Moody, Depressed, Middle-Aged Woman.

Friday, April 11, 2008

worth signing

thank you

tashi delek

Sunday, April 06, 2008

This Man Just Blows My Mind

Insight from the Dalai Lama, Saturday/Sunday April 5/6

When in the company of others
I shall always consider myself as the lowest of all,
And from the depth of my heart
Hold them dear and supreme.

What could i learn if i held this attitude for even a minute a day, when in the company of others?

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Insight from the Dalai Lama 4/3

"The creatures that inhabit this earth--be they human beings or animals--are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world."