2 days and counting!

i'm getting excited! changed $40 into 480 pesos this afternoon--funny money! tomorrow is a day off in which i do banking, buy last minute supplies, and attempt to pack for an unknown but tropical adventure.

weirdness w/the guy; am so happy i opted for Plan B which is to take the bus w/friends. no matter how honestly i try to express myself--being as clear and lucid as i can be, which is 'quite'--what is heard bears little resemblance to what i've tried to say. it is completely exhausting!--and i find myself wishing he'd just go back to Mexico and become a beach bum, which seems to be his main goal.

he is back in Tucson unexpectedly--didn't tell me he was coming--called at 8:30 last night to see if he could come over! clueless, and not about to shift.

Archimedes said, Give me a place to stand and i could move the world, but this guy refutes that statement. ha!

i feel fit and ready. for whatever.

:)

one week and counting!

OK, so the guy (sort-of-in-my-life guy) ain't going, but we are still talking. he's staying put in Tastiota (Sonora, Mexico) until he knows what is happening with the property there. it's too long of a story to go into now.

so: i'm getting on a bus, in a week, with 4 friends, to ride 22 hours south into the Mexican state of Nayarit. i'm going to be pretty broke as it will take every last cent i can earn in the next week to pay rent ahead and pay some bills that come due while i'm going to be gone. i am totally positive that all of it will work out wonderfully and that it will be a great adventure!

my friend J. is camping on my couch again; he and his gf broke up and he is jobless, carless, homeless--but not friendless. the blessing here is that he balances the seesaw of my ongoing frustration/compassion with the driveway roommate--and gives me the vent i need to discuss that situation w/o going nuts. she needs a lot of care; she is frail, and prone to feel abandonment/rejection when none is intended. plus she is just not connected to reality in a very meaningful or grounded way. i feel relieved that J. will be here while i am gone, as he will care for animals and property with more conscientiousness than K. is capable of. (i am not being disparaging, just speaking truth--which she usually interprets as judgment and rejection, provoking a host of defensive and hostile responses.) what a great teacher she is; how much i still have to learn. i give thanks for J.'s presence to assist me while i assist him.

the wrenching details

so, the guy can't come to Mexico, because he is already in Mexico, but where he is is not where we were planning to go, but so what, i'm going anyway with several Tucson friends, and will have a spectacular time, so there!

:)

(and he sez i'm still his sweetie. nice touch with the wrench, there. ha.)

monkey wrenches

i just have to look at what the wrench is saying. how's that for a mixed metaphor?

prayers to Haiti

http://www.mercycorps.org/

you can go here to contribute to the Haitian relief effort.

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i had strange dreams last night; so did the friend occupying the couch, haven't checked with the housemate yet. energy is movin' quick. change is in the air. death, destruction, transformation, rebirth. the endless cycle of samsara turns, turns, turns.

i miss J. terrifically. this 'relationship' is not progressing along recognizable routes, so i'm stymied as to its significance. but as Ben Franklin said, you can't expect different results from the same old methods. (i'm paraphrasing.)

i release my will, that Thy Will Be Done.

Mexico here i come!

planning a trip to Tepic at the end of the month.

will hopefully connect with the man (sort-of-in-my-life guy) in Hermosillo.

this is news! i haven't had a vacation in years! wish me luck!

:)