more and more

yesterday afternoon found out that a good friend is in the hospital, blown up like a pregnant lady. he has Hepatitis C (this was news to me!) and is having a liver biopsy today. they keep taking liters of fluid out of his stomach.

overall his attitude is calm--it was actually fun in the hospital room last night. there were 4 of us and we shared food and stories and Tucson histories....a small circle of friends.

so, prayers today for....a miracle? i don't even know what to ask for anymore.

grace, mostly. just grant me some grace to keep going on, helping where i can, with an open heart.

aftermath

all is OK here, but i feel like i've been beaten with sticks (not that i'd know, actually)....

sturm und drang

yesterday my housemate didn't emerge from her trailer by the time i went to work (unusual).

i got home for a lunch break around 3:00--her car was still here, but she was not around.

i went in her trailer to see what i could find out, and found a suicide note/will, dated 6/25/09. she apologized for ending it here; said she is tired and in pain; told me to give her drums away and keep the rest.

i stood in shock for a long time. went in my house and sat in shock. had no clue about the next step, so i started calling some friends.

no one answered their phone.

i had one last client for the day and simply decided to go back to work, do my best, and that somehow i would know what to do when i got back home.

it was, surprisingly enough, a good session. afterward i checked my phone messages--no one had called back.

so, at that point i just knew that i would be able to handle it all on my own. i planned to call 911 as soon as i got home.

pulled into the driveway and the chain had been taken off the gate, so *someone* was home.

she was here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and today is her birthday, so i got up at 5:30 to make a "happy birthday, i'm glad you're not dead" cake.

sheesh.

checking in

it's been a hairy wild ride over the past couple of weeks....not sure why, but the global energies have been very turbulent and it seems as though i can feel more of them than ever.

i'm good at what i do because of my sensitivity....but apparently i need to install a few buffers or firewalls in my "on-board bio-computer" to minimize my reactivity to world events!

also, the saga of the Water Snake continues, although it's waning in intensity. but every time i think it's over, it's not; and every time i think it's moving forward, it doesn't. interesting to observe my reactions. also interesting to observe how attached i have become to someone who doesn't give very much. hmmmmm. now *there's* a pattern worth abandoning!

giving thanks for cool mornings, this time of year.

all my love, to all y'all!