sturm und drang

yesterday my housemate didn't emerge from her trailer by the time i went to work (unusual).

i got home for a lunch break around 3:00--her car was still here, but she was not around.

i went in her trailer to see what i could find out, and found a suicide note/will, dated 6/25/09. she apologized for ending it here; said she is tired and in pain; told me to give her drums away and keep the rest.

i stood in shock for a long time. went in my house and sat in shock. had no clue about the next step, so i started calling some friends.

no one answered their phone.

i had one last client for the day and simply decided to go back to work, do my best, and that somehow i would know what to do when i got back home.

it was, surprisingly enough, a good session. afterward i checked my phone messages--no one had called back.

so, at that point i just knew that i would be able to handle it all on my own. i planned to call 911 as soon as i got home.

pulled into the driveway and the chain had been taken off the gate, so *someone* was home.

she was here.

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and today is her birthday, so i got up at 5:30 to make a "happy birthday, i'm glad you're not dead" cake.

sheesh.