Monday, September 03, 2007

not healed yet

i blew off the Medicine Buddha practice. got about a mile from home and heard the little voice say, "don't go."

so i turned the car around and came home.

the worst part is that i called the hostess and lied about why i wasn't coming. sigh.

[if you know something about horses, you may recognize the phrase "barn sour." it's when a horse hangs around the barn so much, it gets very nervous, uncomfortable, and jittery when it has to leave--as in, on a trail ride with some city folk riding it's back.

[so every step out is L-O-O-N-N-G-G-E-R than the last. and every step in a homeward direction is quickquickquickquick.

[i ran a riding stables for a few years, until i ran out of money. bought all the horses, all the hay, housing supplies, building materials. oh, and the beer, too.

[that's what happened to the nice nest egg i inherited from my grandma. oh well.]

there have been a few days this summer in which i haven't really been able to leave the house. thought they were done with....but i guess i'm not quite healed yet. and i can live with that, because i can see that i've made progress.

i think i'll go do my own Medicine Buddha practice. that will definitely help.


At 9/3/07, 7:11 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Wow, what a stunning photo :o)

At 9/4/07, 4:44 AM, Blogger Cootera said...

I'm glad you and Chris have talked. It's hopefully some small bit of closure for you. And good friends, such as your J., certainly help. Hugs.

At 9/5/07, 3:23 AM, Blogger alan said...

There are times I can be very happy not leaving the house...I don't get to do it often, so those days are a treat!



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