not healed yet
i blew off the Medicine Buddha practice. got about a mile from home and heard the little voice say, "don't go."
so i turned the car around and came home.
the worst part is that i called the hostess and lied about why i wasn't coming. sigh.
[if you know something about horses, you may recognize the phrase "barn sour." it's when a horse hangs around the barn so much, it gets very nervous, uncomfortable, and jittery when it has to leave--as in, on a trail ride with some city folk riding it's back.
[so every step out is L-O-O-N-N-G-G-E-R than the last. and every step in a homeward direction is quickquickquickquick.
[i ran a riding stables for a few years, until i ran out of money. bought all the horses, all the hay, housing supplies, building materials. oh, and the beer, too.
[that's what happened to the nice nest egg i inherited from my grandma. oh well.]
there have been a few days this summer in which i haven't really been able to leave the house. thought they were done with....but i guess i'm not quite healed yet. and i can live with that, because i can see that i've made progress.
i think i'll go do my own Medicine Buddha practice. that will definitely help.