the latest disaster/growth opportunity

my old Sun Bear was in pain last night. she'd cry out, just lying by herself on the floor, no one near her. her lower back (site of kidneys, failing; and also site of valley fever surgery last october) was hot to the touch. she also refused her dinner, which is a Big Event. the dog lives to eat, so if she ain't eating, it's serious.

so today i took her in to the vet with the intention of ending her life.


i had a cat before Sam. his name was Effie. he was an awesome guy....and i waited too long to put him down. he suffered from valley fever also (very unusual in a cat) and then developed lymphoma. after getting amazing results from chemo pills for that, he had a few good months, but then his kidneys started failing and we started the sub-Q fluids, not popular with either of us. he hated it, i hated it, it was horrid. his appetite dropped off, he lost weight. i would open 3 different cans of cat food at a time, just to get him to eat a couple of teapoons.

one day he wobbled out to the car and sat down on the driveway by the passenger door. it was as clear a request to "go" that i could imagine, since the only place we ever went in the car was to the vet's office.

that day i took him in and held him in my lap while he let go of all of the suffering.

(3 years later, Sam is here....and if souls really do get recycled, i'm pretty sure Effie is in there!)


so anyway, i wanted to avoid waiting too long with Sun Bear. bless her heart, she's got valley fever, had tick fever, and is also in the downward spiral of renal failure. i mean, she is not going to get better, and i wanted to intervene before she got too much worse. (plus, the weekend is coming, and the emergency vets are incredibly expensive.)

we got to the vet's and she walks in with her tail wagging and her eyes all bright, and the vet is like, what did you say was wrong with her?

last night she was off her feed, hot in the low back, and whimpering in pain.

well, let's see if she'll eat a little for us here today.

and damned if she doesn't gobble all the food, drink water noisily, and look around for seconds.


before the appointment, i called in to cancel my shift at the Prov tonight in tears, thinking i was going to leave the vet's with a body in a bag. and instead i now have 2 new prescriptions--an anti-inflammatory and some pain pills--and a happy, waggy, saggy old doggy.

oh, and the night off too. i think we'll go up Mt. Lemmon to celebrate.

yippee!