hiding places

i am trying to systematically eradicate the hiding places i frequent. it's getting to be a bitch, and i'm crabby with the effort.

over the last several months i've pretty much quit all intoxicants, unless you count caffeine and tobacco. the taper happened pretty much without trying. not that i was using anything habitually, understand--but the urge has just kind of gone away.

oh, i still have a beer maybe once a week, actually less. i drink a couple cups of half-decaf coffee in the mornings, with soy/rice milk and honey in it. i also have one--sometimes 2--skinny, hand-rolled, filterless, organic tobacco cigarettes in the evening. (i so enjoy them that i'm thinking they should go too--KIDDING! i was just kidding!)

and FOOD! oh holy cripes. i can't even begin. food and exercise!

i bought a month-long yoga pass and have been using it 2-3 times a week--which is good. yay me! still, i could be biking to work, or biking to yoga, or going swimming--it's sure HOT enough--but somehow it seems that there's a big block in my head about actually applying myself to achieve the goals i say i want. that's the whole reason i'm even trying to do this, whatever name you could give it.

and the goals aren't necessarily "20 pounds thinner" or "double my income" but more along the lines of "optimal health and abundance in all areas of my life."

i am amazingly, abundantly healthy already, and could be even more so, but for some reason i stop short of realizing anything really fabulous.

same with income....i'm prosperous enough, JUST--and could be more so--but once again, don't apply myself to achieve anything beyond that self-dictated stopping point.

i want to find out why--break the barrier--get out of my own way, etc.--so 'hiding places' seemed to be a good place to start.

benjamin franklin said, "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." i decided to see if i can figure out what stops me from doing things differently.

no, not even that--i intend seeing that i CAN start doing things differently!

inward spelunking....