Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Morning After

I made extra coffee this morning because i knew i'd want to spend time in thought and contemplation (and just plain recovery) today.

My lover has returned to his home, and i'm in the process of sorting out our separate threads, joined so much closer together now after our first experience of sharing space in real time. Or was it sharing time in real space? I don't know, both i guess!

I am changed, i know that. He is too, he knows that. We both gambled and so far we are winning big.

At the same time i feel the rest of the world pressing in gently, reminding me that i have a life and a job and so forth. I did no work until yesteday morning when i went to class and blushed madly while my younger co-teacher and classroom assistant both quizzed me, "How's your weekend been? Oh, looks like it's going well!"

Many people were informed during the last few days before Chris' arrival that a Big Event was about to take place. I had kept the whole thing pretty quiet up to then because i am a private person, but as the ETA approached i was hard put to contain my excitement. So a lot more people knew he was coming, than knew his arrival was the culmination of a process begun many weeks before. (I hope that makes sense....) And all of them wish me, and us, well. What a humbling discovery!

On a larger scale, it makes me consider the world today in a different light, like hearing about how the local free 'Farmacy Garden' had to shut down due to vandalism. A friend was managing it and said the vandalism got so bad there was not much of a choice about continuing. And i think about the minds that have to destroy something that isn't even about the "establishment", that is free for folks who are in need, that was created out of love and a sense of sharing land and it's riches with people who don't have contact with the earth in a nurturing way. So what are their minds filled with, those who are so bored they destroy out of 'random UNkindness'?

I remember the protests of the 60's and 70's and the mindset that rebelled against the 'military-industrial complex' (remember that phrase) and how the rebellious spirit of that time continues to live on; but nowadays it seems that people rebel against anything at all, even the things that were born out of the idealism of that past time. And it saddens me, who is currently living in a state of grace, knowing that love exists and is benevolent. Wishing i could share that vision with the world, wondering how i can. Knowing that that could become a goal for us to share.

The Dalai Lama was here in Tucson this past weekend and I felt gratified to simply have been in the same geographical location. What a blessing to have this "simple Buddhist monk" (his self-description) grace our little desert city. It's written that he likes the desert SW because it reminds him of Tibet, I guess the aridity? For sure not the heat, but then again i don't know too much about Tibetan climate. Just wanted to mention his being here....for the time being, i'm typed out....but thanks for all of you for all the good wishes and kudos and comments and kind thoughts!

ciao for now


At 9/20/05, 10:32 AM, Blogger identity theft information said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9/20/05, 12:03 PM, Blogger Cootera said...

**grumble, grumble... damn spam**

Ah, Taza... change is exciting, is it not? I'm so happy that you and Chris met in real time/space. More changes to come, eh? Big ol' hugs to you!!

At 9/20/05, 1:28 PM, Blogger shabbychica said...

Mi chica there are times we pulse with another. You are the bomb. Thx for dropping by neuroticlaundry. I'll link you this evening.

I'm clueless, the history. Still, I feel the connection and passion. All the best to the two of you.


At 9/20/05, 1:29 PM, Blogger shabbychica said...

Hmmm....is there some way you can enable users with MT to post here. I don't have a blogger acct. :(

At 9/21/05, 5:47 AM, Blogger I n g e r said...

I'm so happy for you, Taza--and how beautiful you are! I often come here feeling a bit droopy, and always leave smiling.

At 9/21/05, 6:21 AM, Blogger Jade said...

Aww Taza, I am so glad you got to spend that time together.. I know and remember that feeling well.. huggz

At 9/21/05, 7:57 AM, Blogger Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

When you wrote that part about the rest of the world pressing in I couldn't have agreed more. Don't you hate it when reality gets in the way?

At 9/21/05, 10:24 AM, Blogger Christopher said...

Hello Taza,

I miss you too...

At 9/22/05, 2:54 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Yaaaaaaay...aint loooooooooooove grand!


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