Monday, July 02, 2012

house sitting

going on a week. it's a big nice house on the east side with a huge saltwater aquarium (very finicky) and a couple of nice dogs, and A/C.

feeling depressed and abandoned by the sweetie man. we are having some silence between us, which always throws me off. i wish communication were easier for him. i wish it were easier for us, i guess. so i'm letting it rest instead of prodding with sticks. seems like the best choice.

i went home yesterday morning as he had made a trip down south to help his daughter move stuff & spent the night on her new (thrift store) couch. they left at 9:30 p.m. when it is cool enough to drive interstate with no a/c. so i showed up in the early a.m. to let my dogs out, and spent a few hours in blissful reunion with them and the kitty.

then when the sweetie got home it turned sour. i had been so excited to see him, and it felt like he stuck a pin in it. i left thinking he needed some rest. haven't heard from him since.

it feels shitty and awful, and scary. what happened to all that love? what happened to the way he'd look at me and smile? that has been gone for some time. is he simply exhausted from the last several months (as i am), or have his feelings changed? i don't know what to do or how to proceed.


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