a free Saturday!

for the first time in recent history i have a free day today.

part of me is simply glad for time off, and another part is concerned about the frickin' bills....

gifts for clients and friends this year will be along the lines of scented votive candles in glass holders--nothing extravagant! in years past i have given to my siblings through Mercy Corps, Heifer International, and Oxfam International, all of which will arrange to deliver a sheep, or goat, or hive of bees, or flock of chickens to a family in need, far across the globe. (this year i am thinking about giving the money i would have spent on all 3 of them to the sister in Galveston. my other sister set up a bank account in Houston for donations.)

another great gift idea comes from Kiva. it's a group that helps fund entrepreneurs all over the world with loans from folks all over the world--the minimum loan is $25. i've only made one loan, but it was the last one before that person got all the money they needed to start, so that felt good!

personally....this is a hard time of year to be alone, so i am hugging my furbies a lot. i had a very involved dream last night featuring The Last Drunk Guy. it has been years since i dreamed about him.

after we finally broke up (1999) i dreamed about him a LOT. months later, i then found that if i thought about him during the day--say, saw a truck that looked like his--i would have a dream that night. but like i said, it's been a few years since he showed up in my dreamtime. it was a little disturbing to find that he is still enmeshed--even a little bit--in my psyche!

my heart feels frozen. i'm afraid to want more than solitude (albeit furry solitude) because relationships are so painful when they end.